“I just wanna pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep.” For years I have used this as a throw-away line.
Last Friday I actually tried it for the first time. Ever.
At 11:00 in the morning.
Care to lay odds on the outcome?
I had tried to get on with the day and overcome a funk of over-wroughtness.
I had read the Wash Post headlines, which featured the Occupant’s lead balloon of a proposal that the presidential election should be postponed; a large graphic of the tanked economy; and Presidents Obama, Bush, and Clinton speaking at the funeral service of John Lewis. The text of this last article noted that Obama spoke from the pulpit where Martin Luther King had preached.
I had wrestled with with what was going on with me in my current writing project: the more I tried to be clear and specific, the less I felt I was writing in my own voice. After an hour of practice, all I knew was that I was on to a subtle and troublesome knot.
A light drizzle that had ended a record-breaking 25-day heatwave brought no relief to the thick air.
So my body and my brain were both way overheated.
I headed for the bedroom, the one room in the house that was cool.
As I pulled the covers up over my head, a window AC unit whirred along
But every time I drifted off, I found myself in another anxiety dream.
At one o’clock I threw the covers off and wandered back into the livingroom.
I picked up my phone and began to scroll through emails, felt queasy and put it down.
It was another hour before I had anything to eat.
Rescued by getting ready for Shabbos
Finally at 4:00 I turned to another strategy: cleaning. Because I like to go into Shabbos with a clean and orderly house. An hour of being able to exert control over my immediate environment calmed me a bit. The aerobic side energized me a bit.
But the funk still had hold of me.
How had it gotten to be Friday again already?
Six days of the week have become interchangeable and increasingly indeterminate.
But what really turned me around was overhearing my next-door neighbor’s afternoon outing with his dog.
Dan had brought Tawney outside for a late-afternoon poop.
Tawney is a beautiful Giant Boxer, maybe 7 years old.
He has Parkinson’s and has been progressively losing function in his back legs since last September. He has not lost his delightful disposition, his playfulness, or the strength of his “upper body.” Twice a day, Dan helps Tawney down the front steps and around to the back yard, using a long sturdy sling to support his hind quarters. And Dan talks to him, encourages him along. Dan does this with every step Tawney takes. Every day. Twice a day.